This page has been created for all my friends and followers who want to take their revenge on their EXs. The idea is that we’ll bake together a customized cake to throw in their EXs’ face. Isn’t it relieving? ( – :
Do you want to participate?? It’s now live!
MANITOBA FLOUR AND NUTELLA CAKE
Yessssssssss, we are back again with an article dedicated to YOU! Dedicated to you, my dear friends and readers, who wish to take revenge on one of your ex-lovers by throwing a cake in his face!
Today we will cake Cicciuzz’ ass ( – ;
Cicciuzz is not really an EX lover, he is actually the INCUMBENT BOYFRIEND of the sweetest person I have ever met: Sara!
They are lovely together, they are the perfect couple: he plays guitar and she sings, she cooks very well and he eats…
… And he eats a lot even if he starts a diet every 2 weeks ( – ; He is very passionate about each diet at the beginning – no matter if it is the Balalaika one or the astronaut one – but he gets tired and he gives up quite quickly. Being tired is one of Cicciuzz’ main characteristics: he loves to sleep.
Unfortunately Sara doesn’t agree, she doesn’t want to spend every Saturday and Sunday morning trying to wake him up! She tried everything to speed up the “waking up” process, but she succeeded ONLY once thanks to Nutella!
So today, she tries again with this delicious Manitoba flour and Nutella cake:
Will Cicciuzz (alias the king of the spinning roll) wake up for good?
After the throwing of the cake, we will stay tuned and wait for the throwing of the bouquet!
MR TEDDY BEAR
Eva – Hi Val! Welcome to the magic world of the “Let’s Bake Their Ass” section. Ladies come here to cake their ex-lovers and then they feel relieved and happy again. Don’t you feel a bit happier already?
Val – Hi Eva and hi dear Homme Sweeet Homme readers! I’m ready for this magic experience and indeed I feel already a bit happier than before ah ah ah
Eva – Let’s get started then. I know you are going to take your revenge on Mr Teddy Bear today. Why this nickname?
Val – Oh well, Mr Teddy Bear looks like a bear: tall, brown, even a bit hulking. But he is also caring and soooo sweet like a real teddy bear… I mean the toy teddy bear. Talking about toys…
Eva – Val, please hooooooooold on. Kids might be reading this blog, we don’t want to shock them, right? ( – ;
Val – Ah, ok. I just wanted to mention his generous toy and the playful way he uses it ( – :
Eva – Yep, indeed…
Val – C’mon, Eva, he is a Gemini, he likes to play and to please, mmmh
Eva – So why do you want to cake him?
Val – Sad, so saaaaaaad… It’s a sad sad situation…
Eva – Val, I know you like Elton John, but can we focus on your Teddy Bear?
Val – Oooops… So, I would like to cake him because his favourite game is hide-and-seek (or maybe hide-and-sick because of his repeated health issues…) !
Eva – Poor Val. Do you like this cake for him?
Val – Ouiiiii, it is perfect! And BTW, we need to say that we decorated the cake with Band-Aids: one for every time he asked me to live together and then disappeared ) – ; I have a private message for Mr Teddy Bear:
DON’T DO THAT AGAIN OTHERWISE I’LL BREAK THE ONLY HEALTHY KNEE THAT YOU HAVE LEFT (( – :
Another revenge taken on our Let’s Cake Their Ass page, the “caker” this month is Lady Mary!!!
It was the last night of a medieval festival organised around the Fossanova abbey. It was August. It was a very hot night especially for Mary who was quite intrigued by all the medieval figurants gathered there for the occasion. One in particular got her attention: tall (super important for an Amazon like her), cute as she described him (super sexy as I would describe him!), majestic like a big rock (for this reason we chose to throw in his face this cake named “rock” in Italian), and very attracted by Mary too.
I would start by saying that Lady Mary is in general a bit shy, in addition that night Mr Rock was super busy promoting typical products from his region, so the first move took ages!
But as soon as Mr Rock and Lady Mary started to talk, a new world made of chocolate, honey and nuts opened its arms to them. They kept in touch even if he was living in another city; they exchanged e-mails, texts, phone calls, and finally a kiss… The most romantic of the kisses! He didn’t kiss her under the moon nor under the stars, he kissed her at the Fockers B&B. OK, the name of the B&B he had chosen to stay at was a bit explicit on his intentions, but Lady Mary was not a saint either ( – ;
Only one thing went wrong after the kiss… Mr Rock confessed that he was…
If you want to try this recipe: http://www.summerinitaly.com/guide/rocciata-di-assisi
MR SANCHO PANZA
We go on with our monthly Let’s Cake Their Ass series, the lucky winner this month is Noniiiiis, she can now take revenge on her ex-boyfriend!
I would like to start by saying that smiling Noniiiiiis kindly applauds all my sweet creations, but unfortunately she doesn’t taste them very often because she is intolerant to the cakes’ basic ingredients: yeast and flour ) – :
Lately Noniiiis started, like most of us disappointed women, to be intolerant to MEN and especially to ONE man: Sancho Panza who is going to get his ass caked today with a cream made of tofu, cocoa and coffee.
Sancho Panza, like this recipe, is very bio, easy, funny and quick. Yes, he is very QUICK but not at what you are thinking now ( – : He is very quick at stealing the show in front of nice ladies, very quick at launching his romantic attack, very quick at promising phantasmagorical holidays in exotic places (famous destinations chosen by several fluffy guys such as Mr Jell-O), very quick at finding ontological excuses for standing everybody up, very quick at… deserving this nice tofu cream in his face!!
In addition, Noniiis says that the tofu mixed with the coffee and the cocoa has exactly the same colour as Sancho Panza’s cowardice ( – :
I’ll cake your ass, dear Sancho Panza, and this way I say BYE BYE we’ll meet again in another life!
AN ADULT PLAYGROUND
We continue the Let’s Cake Their Ass series with a story written and played by our lucky friend Renata!
At least once in our life we have all dreamt in front of a cheesy movie where a lady meets the perfect man, they make eye-contact, they go straight to bed, they fall in love, they decide to live happily together in a huge house where they will raise their lovely kids. Of course he is rich, good looking, and famous. Of course she is tall, blonde, big boobs, super shaved legs, wearing a sexy baby-doll under her expensive red dress.
We all know that dreams never come true. But, dear readers, I am the living proof that sometimes they can partially come true, check this out:
A French hotel lobby.
He is a soccer World Champion 2006.
She is a normal woman, not too shapely, not suntanned, and not ready for such a date…
She is definitely not ready (ladies, you can only imagine how much she is not ready! Think about the worst… Yes, now you know!).
They meet, they talk, and they meet again in room number 211.
Ooooh, they meet!
It’s late, he has to go, but before leaving he asks her phone number.
She knows he will never call her, but she hopes…
I’ll cake your ass, dear Mr. World Champion! You never called me but it’s ok, I will have a nice story to tell my grandchildren ( – :
THE FISH CAKE
And here I am with my friend Cindy who volunteered to be the first amazing guest of YOUR new page.
HSH: Hi Cind’! How’s life? Shall we start baking?
C: Oh yes, with pleasure!
HSH: What have you chosen to bake?
C: I would like to bake the fish cake
HSH: Interesting choice, who will be the target?
C: C’mon, HSH, my ex-boyfriend of course!
HSH: Blond, tall, smart, gorgeous! Am I right?
C: Indeed! But all this was just a façade, like this little nice and cute cake that can be tricky (BTW, I cannot bake, you need to teach me) and can hide a real shark inside!
HSH: Was your ex-boyfriend a real shark?
C: Oh oh, HSH, if he was a little cute fish I might have kept him! Let me give you some examples:
– He wanted to meet and mingle with all my friends BUT I was inexistent for all his friends
– He wanted to be mad and move in together BUT he would freak out only thinking about the word “commitment”
– He used to say “You are my Mrs Perfect” BUT then he kept on complaining about my haircut
HSH: And this is why he deserved a cake in his face (( – :
A couple of hours later, this is the result:
HSH: So do you feel better now, Cind’??